It is easy for lawyers who have been doing Private Client work for a long time to do their job with an increasing sense of disconnect between the work they are doing and the people they are advising, with all the human experiences and emotions that come with that.
Occasionally, however, some clients’ situations come up and grab you when you least expect it, and it is humbling when that happens because it reminds the lawyers that we too are human and we need to be mindful of what our clients are going through and help them wherever they are on their journey.
Why a Declaration of Trust matters more than you think: A real-life wake-up call
Sometimes real life cuts through, and this happened to me recently with an unmarried couple who had a toddler, for whom I had prepared wills a while back. I am going to call them Chris and Sarah.
Sarah called me out of the blue. She was incredibly upset and in floods of tears and it was several minutes before I could get her to tell me what was wrong.
Missed opportunities and unspoken assumptions
When I had prepared their wills, I had asked them about their house and the ownership arrangements. It had been Chris’s house when they first got together and, when baby Toby arrived, Sarah decided to sell her little flat and invest the money in Chris’s house, which they used to pay off a chunk of Chris’s mortgage. We talked about them signing a Declaration of Trust to record Sarah’s investment in the property, or perhaps look at a remortgaging in both of their names and then transferring the property into their joint names at the Land Registry.
But nothing got done and it got parked in the “too difficult” box. They were busy with Chris working full time, Sarah on maternity leave, and a new baby to look after.
The relationship breaks down
Then their relationship started to deteriorate. Imperceptibly at first, just with increasing time spent apart but then some pressures with health concerns for the baby. Then, one morning, they woke up and discovered they weren’t a couple anymore, and didn’t want to be a couple anymore, and it all fell apart.
Again, as happens so often, once things had fallen apart, the positive emotions they had experienced at the beginning of their relationship turned negative, with anger and suspicion replacing love and trust.
Aside arguments about Toby (in relation to contact and custody) things also went pear-shaped about the house, which was still registered in Chris’s sole name albeit with a much reduced mortgage (also in Chris’s sole name) thanks to the investment from Sarah following the sale of her flat.
Legal rights vs moral wrongs
Chris was insisting that the house was his, and that Sarah had no claim over it. After all, her name wasn’t on the title, and there was no written agreement. From a legal standpoint, he was standing on strong ground, at least at first glance. But from a moral standpoint? Sarah felt betrayed. Her entire savings, the proceeds of her flat sale – money she had worked hard to earn, had gone into reducing his mortgage. And now, he was claiming it meant nothing.
The emotional fallout
It wasn’t just about the money, of course. It never is. For Sarah, it was about fairness. About promises made, and dreams they once shared. About the home she had helped build for their child, and the life they had begun together.
When she called me, she was heartbroken – not only by the end of the relationship, but by the realisation that she might be left with nothing to show for it. That she would have to start again from square one, financially and emotionally. And all because the one thing we had talked about, the Declaration of Trust, never got signed.
Legal remedies – but at what cost?
We discussed what legal arguments might still be available to her. I explained the principles of resulting and constructive trusts. We talked about contributions and intentions, about evidence and inference. But I also had to be brutally honest: without a written Declaration of Trust, she was facing an uphill battle. She might have a claim, but it would be hard to prove. It would likely require costly legal proceedings, possibly court hearings, and it would take months, if not years, to resolve. Worse still, the outcome would be uncertain, with no guarantee of success.
And all of that stress would come on top of everything else she was dealing with: co-parenting arrangements, emotional recovery from a broken relationship, worries about where she and Toby would live, and how she would afford it.
The psychological toll
The psychological toll that this sort of situation takes cannot be overstated. People in Sarah’s position often feel like the rug has been pulled from under their lives. They blame themselves for not taking action sooner, and that blame can quickly turn into shame, making it even harder to reach out for help.
When trust isn’t enough
It is not that Sarah didn’t trust Chris. She did. And that’s the tragic irony. She trusted him so completely that she felt it would be hurtful, perhaps even offensive, to ask for a legal agreement at the time. But a Declaration of Trust isn’t about expecting things to go wrong; it’s about planning responsibly for all eventualities. It’s about putting love and trust into writing – not because you expect betrayal, but because you want to honour what’s fair.
I see these cases far too often. Someone contributes significantly to a property but doesn’t formalise their interest. They trust that, if things ever change, the other person will do the right thing. But people are not always at their best during a breakup. Hurt feelings cloud judgement. Conversations become confrontations. And what once felt like a shared dream becomes a battleground.
What a Declaration of Trust could have done
A Declaration of Trust, if it had been signed when Sarah sold her flat, would have given her clarity and protection. It would have spelled out the shares in which the property was held. It could have made provision for what would happen if the relationship ended: whether the property should be sold, how the proceeds would be divided, whether one could buy the other out. And, crucially, it could have ensured that Sarah’s contribution was recognised and preserved, even if the romance faded.
Of course, it would not have fixed their relationship. But it would have saved Sarah months, perhaps years, of legal wrangling. It would have given her a place to start again, a deposit for a new home for herself and Toby, and a foothold on the next chapter of her life.
This case has brought me up short. It reminded me that, as lawyers, we have a duty not just to advise on the documents, but to explain why they matter. To dig into the difficult conversations. To persist, gently, when clients say they’re “too busy” or that they’ll “get around to it later”. Because later sometimes doesn’t come.
Why a Declaration of Trust matters
Declarations of Trust may seem dull, just paperwork, something for another day. But when they’re needed, they are the difference between a clean break and a lingering, expensive, painful legal dispute. They can preserve dignity. Protect children. And honour the investment, financial and emotional, that both people have made.
Final thoughts
So, next time a client says, “We’ll just trust each other”, I will be thinking about Sarah. And I will gently explain that trust is a beautiful thing. But putting it in writing, that’s where the real protection lies. Not just for them, but for their future selves, and the people they love the most.
How Elite Law Solicitors can help
How Elite Law Solicitors can helpDo get in touch if you would like to talk to someone about putting a Declaration of Trust in place. At Elite Law Solicitors, we can help you to record and protect your financial interests clearly and fairly. Get in touch today and book a free initial consultation by calling 0800 086 2929, emailing info@elitelawsolicitors.co.uk, or by completing our Free Online Enquiry Form.
Alternatively, to learn more, you can read our complete guide on Declarations of Trust for everything you need to know.
The content of this article is for general information only. The information in this article is not legal or professional advice. If you require legal or professional advice you should obtain independent expert advice from qualified private client solicitors such as those within our firm.
